Okay, the real chapter two is here
at ff.net (as well as Mediaminer, Ficwad, Freedom of Speech Fanfiction and a couple other smaller archives).
The point of this entry is to show people how a beta can truely make a difference to a story.
Soon after I wrote this...thing under the cut, I asked a friend of mine to take a look at the already published chapter one. Her review (number seven) pointed out a lot of things that needed work, not the least of which being the characterization of both Seto and Mokuba. Without my beta, this ficwoudl have fallen into the usual "OOC Wild Mokuba" cliches that I've grown to loathe. So, without further ado...
Hmm, let's count the cliches, everyone:
-Excusing bad characterization with arbitrary reasoning? Check.
-Mokuba sassing his brother? Check.
-Mokuba hitting well below the belt
even if Seto/Shizuka has no business in this story to start with
-Pointless romance? Yeppers.
In any event, the concerns the beta expressed certainly made me take a hard look at this fic and the direction, which took another three or four complete revisions to get what I eventually published. And even now, I still see thing that need fixing...but on the whole, I'm a lot less embarrassed by that than this (which is only seeing the light of day, because I need to make a rant on Fanfiction Rants about the need for betas and want to show people what a difference a beta truely makes.).
Enjoy...or not. I don't. :/