Okay, the real chapter two is here at ff.net (as well as Mediaminer, Ficwad, Freedom of Speech Fanfiction and a couple other smaller archives).

The point of this entry is to show people how a beta can truely make a difference to a story.

Soon after I wrote this...thing under the cut, I asked a friend of mine to take a look at the already published chapter one. Her review (number seven) pointed out a lot of things that needed work, not the least of which being the characterization of both Seto and Mokuba. Without my beta, this ficwoudl have fallen into the usual "OOC Wild Mokuba" cliches that I've grown to loathe. So, without further ado...

Hmm, let's count the cliches, everyone:
-Excusing bad characterization with arbitrary reasoning? Check.
-Mokuba sassing his brother? Check.
-Mokuba hitting well below the belt even if Seto/Shizuka has no business in this story to start with? Check.
-Neglectful!Seto? Check.
-Pointless romance? Yeppers.

In any event, the concerns the beta expressed certainly made me take a hard look at this fic and the direction, which took another three or four complete revisions to get what I eventually published. And even now, I still see thing that need fixing...but on the whole, I'm a lot less embarrassed by that than this (which is only seeing the light of day, because I need to make a rant on Fanfiction Rants about the need for betas and want to show people what a difference a beta truely makes.).

Enjoy...or not. I don't. :/
Hi, folks! ^_^

If you've discovered me via my posts at Fanfiction Rants, you no doubt know how seeing badly-written Mokuba fanfiction makes me all kinds of angry.

Those kinds of fics is why I wrote "Sixteen." The idea started when I came across a story at the 'Pit where Seto wasrealizing that in a short time, Mokuba would be eighteen. He misses the kid brother who adored him. Sadly, this fic fell into a bunch of cliches that is typical with Seto-Older Mokuba fiction after chapter six and by the last update, my head had exploded.


My fic almost went down that typical road of bad Mokuba fiction. But I enlisted the help of a fellow GAFFer who has helped so much with this story and now it'a lot better than it would have been.

So anyway, here it is. I am really proud of this story and I want this to be a really good coming of age fic, which is impossible to find for this character non-existant. Feedback is definately welcomed.

Title: Sixteen
Rating: Pg-13
Genre:General, Humor
Pairings: Nothing so far.

Chapter One )
Apologies for the change in font...I don't know how to edit font with LJ so that they can be more similar to each other.



April 2017

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