kari_izumi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kari_izumi) wrote2008-05-03 01:17 am
kari_izumi) wrote2008-05-03 01:17 am
(no subject)
Here's your guide to writing your very own bad Bleach fanfiction, boys and girls! For demonstrative purposes, We'll use the fandom pet pairing two easy to write for characters. Take a guess who they will be? No, really :)
Here are some ingredients you'll need for your very own badfic! Please have fun as you pick and choose from the following options:
Thank you, I'll be here all week!
----
This came to mind after the rather short amount of time I've been in this fandom. Between all the badfic comms I belong to and the hundred of rabid IchiRuki fans that come to FFR every blue moon, I kind of expected...well, really godawful fanfic. I was slightly disappointed that most of it's just the same old three or four cliches, which is no fun. Shit, if I gotta have bad fic, let it be original, amirite?
Here are some ingredients you'll need for your very own badfic! Please have fun as you pick and choose from the following options:
Your story takes place:
1) After the Soul Society Arc
2) After (insert stupid filler arc no one cares about) Oh wait, no one watches those hahahaha
2) After Hueco Mundo
3)During some random romantic holiday. Ten points for picking something complete original such as Valentines day or the prom
4)Some AU setting which won't matter after Ichi and Ruki jump each other's bones.
Ichigo (who is a sex-crazed teenager, as canon has shown us time and time again) can't stop thinking about:
1) How hot Rukia is
2) How hot Rukia 's tight ass is
3)How hot Rukia's long legs are (People measuring under 145 centimeters = super longs limbs!)
4) How hot Rukia is when she fights with him and therefore does way out of character shit to piss her off
Rukia, who normally is very open and honest with her feelings:
1)notices how complete hot Ichigo is and tries to hide it
2)starts getting shy around him
2)Angsts about how wrong they'd be together
3)Angsts about how she can't express her feelings to him and usually picks a fight in frustration
The character that stands in the way of their love (and thus deserving to be painted out for the evil person he/she is) is:
1)Orihime
2)Orihime
3)Orihime
The character who sacrifices his or her own feelings to let the two of them be happy and has no aspirations of his/her own besides seeing these two together is:
1)Renji
2)Renji
3)Renji
The two proclaim their feelings by:
1)Having a big arguement
2)one of them nearly dying
3)One of them realizing they made a mistake with their current BF/GF...oh, wait. No, that one doesn't happen very often, because true love means never seeing anyone else but the one you're meant for. My mistake.
4) one of them fapping to thoughts of the other, which naturally gets interrupted by the person they were masterbating to (Over 9000 percent of the time, it's Ichigo walking in on innocent virgin!Rukia who never had a sexual thought in her mind before meeting the most asexual shounen anime character this side of Seto fuckin' Kaiba .Rukia/Kaiba...hmmmm...Goin 2 rite crossover, BRB)
....which of course is promptly followed hawt secks where Ichigo has become a Super Seme sex god and overcomes his fear of nekkid chicks and Rukia screams loud enough to wake up the whole neighborhood because she realizes she is experiencing pure, untamed erotica and enjoying every minute of it. You'd think some of the spiritual energy would bring around a Hollow or two once in a while, but.... Fans are happy, unless you're the stupid people who like IchiHime or RenRuki*. Don't worry, I'll get to your cliches later.
*J/k, i adore Ren/Ruki. Very sarcastic. :)
And for added lulz bonuses, please be sure to add moar:
-of their friends living to pair each other up
-Rukia angsting about her past relationships, on the rare event that she *has* one which is split between either Renji and Kaien or his wife that she had a girl crush on in canon.
-Byakuya finding out and promptly going Bankai on Ichigo's hot, toned ass for comic relief. It's nearly as funny as it is in the RenRuki fics where Renji tries to fool around with Rukia under Byakuya's nose in some super secret area like the Kuchiki household kitchen. Having Ichigo's perverted father wouldn't be very funny at all. Nope.
-At least 100 strawberry references. "Ichigo" = "strawberry" no matter how many times people insist those kanji in his name mean "one" and "protector." OH HI THAR, KUBO TITE
-Point out how short Rukia is, because no one would know from reading the manga.
-Stick Renji and Orihime together, 'cuz then Orihime won't go after Ichigo if she's got a man that she has jack shit in common with--and after staring at Orihime's ample bosom for a long while, he'll forget who Rukia is. For reals!
-????
-Profit!
THE END
1) After the Soul Society Arc
2) After (insert stupid filler arc no one cares about) Oh wait, no one watches those hahahaha
2) After Hueco Mundo
3)During some random romantic holiday. Ten points for picking something complete original such as Valentines day or the prom
4)Some AU setting which won't matter after Ichi and Ruki jump each other's bones.
Ichigo (who is a sex-crazed teenager, as canon has shown us time and time again) can't stop thinking about:
1) How hot Rukia is
2) How hot Rukia 's tight ass is
3)How hot Rukia's long legs are (People measuring under 145 centimeters = super longs limbs!)
4) How hot Rukia is when she fights with him and therefore does way out of character shit to piss her off
Rukia, who normally is very open and honest with her feelings:
1)notices how complete hot Ichigo is and tries to hide it
2)starts getting shy around him
2)Angsts about how wrong they'd be together
3)Angsts about how she can't express her feelings to him and usually picks a fight in frustration
The character that stands in the way of their love (and thus deserving to be painted out for the evil person he/she is) is:
1)Orihime
2)Orihime
3)Orihime
The character who sacrifices his or her own feelings to let the two of them be happy and has no aspirations of his/her own besides seeing these two together is:
1)Renji
2)Renji
3)Renji
The two proclaim their feelings by:
1)Having a big arguement
2)one of them nearly dying
3)One of them realizing they made a mistake with their current BF/GF...oh, wait. No, that one doesn't happen very often, because true love means never seeing anyone else but the one you're meant for. My mistake.
4) one of them fapping to thoughts of the other, which naturally gets interrupted by the person they were masterbating to (Over 9000 percent of the time, it's Ichigo walking in on innocent virgin!Rukia who never had a sexual thought in her mind before meeting the most asexual shounen anime character this side of Seto fuckin' Kaiba .Rukia/Kaiba...hmmmm...Goin 2 rite crossover, BRB)
....which of course is promptly followed hawt secks where Ichigo has become a Super Seme sex god and overcomes his fear of nekkid chicks and Rukia screams loud enough to wake up the whole neighborhood because she realizes she is experiencing pure, untamed erotica and enjoying every minute of it. You'd think some of the spiritual energy would bring around a Hollow or two once in a while, but.... Fans are happy, unless you're the stupid people who like IchiHime or RenRuki*. Don't worry, I'll get to your cliches later.
*J/k, i adore Ren/Ruki. Very sarcastic. :)
And for added lulz bonuses, please be sure to add moar:
-of their friends living to pair each other up
-Rukia angsting about her past relationships, on the rare event that she *has* one which is split between either Renji and Kaien or his wife that she had a girl crush on in canon.
-Byakuya finding out and promptly going Bankai on Ichigo's hot, toned ass for comic relief. It's nearly as funny as it is in the RenRuki fics where Renji tries to fool around with Rukia under Byakuya's nose in some super secret area like the Kuchiki household kitchen. Having Ichigo's perverted father wouldn't be very funny at all. Nope.
-At least 100 strawberry references. "Ichigo" = "strawberry" no matter how many times people insist those kanji in his name mean "one" and "protector." OH HI THAR, KUBO TITE
-Point out how short Rukia is, because no one would know from reading the manga.
-Stick Renji and Orihime together, 'cuz then Orihime won't go after Ichigo if she's got a man that she has jack shit in common with--and after staring at Orihime's ample bosom for a long while, he'll forget who Rukia is. For reals!
-????
-Profit!
THE END
Thank you, I'll be here all week!
----
This came to mind after the rather short amount of time I've been in this fandom. Between all the badfic comms I belong to and the hundred of rabid IchiRuki fans that come to FFR every blue moon, I kind of expected...well, really godawful fanfic. I was slightly disappointed that most of it's just the same old three or four cliches, which is no fun. Shit, if I gotta have bad fic, let it be original, amirite?
no subject
no subject
To be honest, I got into that fandom because of the bi-annual rabid shipper that seems to make its way over to FFR. My trollish side hopes hopes Ichigo gets with Orihime so I can see the fandom's collective head explode XD
I should do one of these for Yuugioh. Come back tomorrow for moar lulz XD
no subject
I got into it because I was bored and they were offering free downloads. I made it to episode 16 and I got about 15 volumes.. and well, I never READ the volumes, just kind of gave up interest in reading them cause it's SO long. x3
Do one for YGO!!! :) I'd love to read it.
no subject
Done :D
I started most of it lats night, but had to put some finishing touches on it!