How to Write: The Kaibas
May. 3rd, 2008 10:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
((Because for all the rants at FFR that I've done this topic, I damn well should do this one next XD))
Hey there folks! Done with that bad Bleach fanfiction yet? It's been less than 48 hours, which is 47 hours and 30 minutes more than you need to complete such an epic task (and even that's being generous, if you've never watched the show!). So I'm sure you you're ready to take on another fandom to get more readership? Cool!
Well, Yugioh's a great place to start. Granted, the popularity may have fallen after the end of the series in '06, but it's still plenty big. And you know who's REALLY big? Seto Kaiba. He's like Byakuya, except for the whole sitting back and letting his beloved sibling die part.
Oh yeah--speaking of that, Seto has a little brother--His name's Mokuba Kaiba, he's a kid and he worships his older brother and calls him "nii-sama"--an honorific you'll no doubt be familiar with if you went with the "Byakuya goes Bankai on Ichigo" plot I told you about.
Anyway, he and his brother have GREAT backstory to explain just how and why they are such a wonderful pair of characters to read about. But all you need to know to write badfic is that Mokuba is OMG CHIBI KID KAWAII DESUDESUDESU X INFINITY and Kaiba is all like "Hurr, I R H8 T3H WURLD AND LOEVS MAH JOB" and you're set.
And if you've never watched Yugioh, don't worry. No one else watched the season three filler that explains Seto and Mokuba's backstory, either. :)
So we got plenty of scenarios to choose from. For general purposes, some great ones to start with include:
1) after Death-T
2) Before/After a big dueling tournament
3) After Seto loses to Yuugi yet again
4) Sometime while Gozaboru is alive; ten points if daddy Dearest adopted Seto for the purpose of goes all Pedobear on Seto's ass
5) Genral future after the series ended
Cool, now for characterization. Let's start with Seto Kaiba. He's a hot stud muffin first and foremost and also at least one of the following:
1) A workaholic who spends every waking hour and half his sleeping hours at work
2) obsessed with beating Yuugi at a children's card game
3) sexing up the whole of Domino City (more on that one later)
4) attentive to Mokuba's needs and worries Wait, WTF? If you pick this one, UR DOIN IT WRONG
4) Ignores Mokuba's existence because he's too busy engaged in activities 1 through 3
Now to Mokuba. Being young equals being completely clueless to the way the world works. Bearing that in mind, his personality lends itself to:
1) Mokuba being Seto's designated matchmaker. For some reason, people don't share his opinion that Nii-sama is a swell guy, and Nii-sama doesn't go out his way to date much. Crazy, no?
2) thinking Seto cares far more for dueling and workand secks more than him. Because if you are going with option 4 from above, no one loves Mokuba, least of all Seto.
3) Talking in a manner that would embarrass a five year old.
4)Being a royal spoiled brat, 'cause all younger siblings are immature fuckwits who can't appreciate anything because people trip over themselves to take care of Baby (This one is especially prominent in Teen!Mokuba stories, which deserves it's own glorious post)
Now the shit your readers will care about: Seto getting it on! He has plenty of admirers in fanfiction, including:
1) Jounochi the closet furry who loves being called "Mutt" after every sentence
2)Jounouchi's sister Shizuka. Easily the most popular het couple for Seto, and who can blame the fans for this one? Those two whole lines of shared dialog they had together SOOOO means they were meant for one another!(FUTURE GUIDES ALERT!)
3)Super Uke!Yuugi
4)Yami
5)Random Mary Sue who beats Seto at Duel Monsters in three moves and/or
6)Random Mary Sue that Gozaburo arranged for Seto to marry (Complete with letter that says "i did it for the lulz")
7)Mokuba (complete with cutting/drinking/wangst and generally no resemblance to canon whatsoever--WHICH is not to say incest can't be done right--I've seen it. But it's rare)
...or, getting back to Kaiba brothers angst, Seto is a workaholic and obsessed with card games to the point of excluding everyone else in life. Even Mokuba. And he lets Seto know this by:
1) Quitting IRL forever.
2)Yelling at Seto about working long hours at the company. Which really *is* stupid of Seto, when Japan is famous for 30 hour work-weeks, three months of vacation time and no one ever has to move at least a hundred miles form home for work. Clearly, Seto is an ass.
3)Getting kidnapped. Apparently, the last two thousand times haven't numbed Seto out at all.
4)Turning to Noa for attention, which makes Seto get jealous(FUCK YEAH SEAKING INCEST THREEWAY)
...then, after whatever deus ex machina device you decide to throw in to make everything better, you get some over the top sentimental bullshit where in the end, Seto shoots sunshine and rainbows out his ass and Mokuba is happy to get back the brother his lost way back in the day. Okay.
You've also got tons of power-ups including but not limited to:
-their long lost sister. All five hundred thousand of them, and at least half of them named "Sakura."
-Seto cutting himself because of his Tragic Past(tm), because he never did try to move on in life from his bad beginnings. Get abused as child, life is over. Rocks fall, everyone dies.
-Diabetes inducing sugary-sweet fluff. Deep down, we all know Seto Kaiba would drop everything to feed and care for a sick baby bunny
-Seto and/or Mokuba swearing like a sailor. Gozaburo was too busy trying to turn chibi!Seto into his love slave uke to teach him anything about business and showing self restraint.
-Seto going out of his way to rescue...um, anyone that isn't Mokuba. He has a mansion with at least 100 rooms, so naturally, he'll feel inclines to save Jounouchi/Shizuka/Ryou Bakura/Yuugi from their abusers by having them live with him after a night of hawt monkey secks
-Super Seme! Seto. See, between all that time and energy he spends on running his company or obsessing over a kid's card game, Seto found the time to become a sex god who is an expert at various sex acts, including most of the Kama Sutra and every SMDB act known on Earth. And he'll willingly share that knowledge with anyone hands-onfor just five months payments of 39.99!
...and t-t-t-t-t-t that's all folks!

I love you, LJ! G'Nite! XD
Hey there folks! Done with that bad Bleach fanfiction yet? It's been less than 48 hours, which is 47 hours and 30 minutes more than you need to complete such an epic task (and even that's being generous, if you've never watched the show!). So I'm sure you you're ready to take on another fandom to get more readership? Cool!
Well, Yugioh's a great place to start. Granted, the popularity may have fallen after the end of the series in '06, but it's still plenty big. And you know who's REALLY big? Seto Kaiba. He's like Byakuya, except for the whole sitting back and letting his beloved sibling die part.
Oh yeah--speaking of that, Seto has a little brother--His name's Mokuba Kaiba, he's a kid and he worships his older brother and calls him "nii-sama"--an honorific you'll no doubt be familiar with if you went with the "Byakuya goes Bankai on Ichigo" plot I told you about.
Anyway, he and his brother have GREAT backstory to explain just how and why they are such a wonderful pair of characters to read about. But all you need to know to write badfic is that Mokuba is OMG CHIBI KID KAWAII DESUDESUDESU X INFINITY and Kaiba is all like "Hurr, I R H8 T3H WURLD AND LOEVS MAH JOB" and you're set.
And if you've never watched Yugioh, don't worry. No one else watched the season three filler that explains Seto and Mokuba's backstory, either. :)
So we got plenty of scenarios to choose from. For general purposes, some great ones to start with include:
1) after Death-T
2) Before/After a big dueling tournament
3) After Seto loses to Yuugi yet again
4) Sometime while Gozaboru is alive; ten points if daddy Dearest adopted Seto for the purpose of goes all Pedobear on Seto's ass
5) Genral future after the series ended
Cool, now for characterization. Let's start with Seto Kaiba. He's a hot stud muffin first and foremost and also at least one of the following:
1) A workaholic who spends every waking hour and half his sleeping hours at work
2) obsessed with beating Yuugi at a children's card game
3) sexing up the whole of Domino City (more on that one later)
4) Ignores Mokuba's existence because he's too busy engaged in activities 1 through 3
Now to Mokuba. Being young equals being completely clueless to the way the world works. Bearing that in mind, his personality lends itself to:
1) Mokuba being Seto's designated matchmaker. For some reason, people don't share his opinion that Nii-sama is a swell guy, and Nii-sama doesn't go out his way to date much. Crazy, no?
2) thinking Seto cares far more for dueling and work
3) Talking in a manner that would embarrass a five year old.
4)Being a royal spoiled brat, 'cause all younger siblings are immature fuckwits who can't appreciate anything because people trip over themselves to take care of Baby (This one is especially prominent in Teen!Mokuba stories, which deserves it's own glorious post)
Now the shit your readers will care about: Seto getting it on! He has plenty of admirers in fanfiction, including:
1) Jounochi the closet furry who loves being called "Mutt" after every sentence
2)Jounouchi's sister Shizuka. Easily the most popular het couple for Seto, and who can blame the fans for this one? Those two whole lines of shared dialog they had together SOOOO means they were meant for one another!(FUTURE GUIDES ALERT!)
3)Super Uke!Yuugi
4)Yami
5)Random Mary Sue who beats Seto at Duel Monsters in three moves and/or
6)Random Mary Sue that Gozaburo arranged for Seto to marry (Complete with letter that says "i did it for the lulz")
7)Mokuba (complete with cutting/drinking/wangst and generally no resemblance to canon whatsoever--WHICH is not to say incest can't be done right--I've seen it. But it's rare)
...or, getting back to Kaiba brothers angst, Seto is a workaholic and obsessed with card games to the point of excluding everyone else in life. Even Mokuba. And he lets Seto know this by:
1) Quitting IRL forever.
2)Yelling at Seto about working long hours at the company. Which really *is* stupid of Seto, when Japan is famous for 30 hour work-weeks, three months of vacation time and no one ever has to move at least a hundred miles form home for work. Clearly, Seto is an ass.
3)Getting kidnapped. Apparently, the last two thousand times haven't numbed Seto out at all.
4)Turning to Noa for attention, which makes Seto get jealous
You've also got tons of power-ups including but not limited to:
-their long lost sister. All five hundred thousand of them, and at least half of them named "Sakura."
-Seto cutting himself because of his Tragic Past(tm), because he never did try to move on in life from his bad beginnings. Get abused as child, life is over. Rocks fall, everyone dies.
-Diabetes inducing sugary-sweet fluff. Deep down, we all know Seto Kaiba would drop everything to feed and care for a sick baby bunny
-Seto and/or Mokuba swearing like a sailor. Gozaburo was too busy trying to turn chibi!Seto into his love slave uke to teach him anything about business and showing self restraint.
-Seto going out of his way to rescue...um, anyone that isn't Mokuba. He has a mansion with at least 100 rooms, so naturally, he'll feel inclines to save Jounouchi/Shizuka/Ryou Bakura/Yuugi from their abusers by having them live with him after a night of hawt monkey secks
-Super Seme! Seto. See, between all that time and energy he spends on running his company or obsessing over a kid's card game, Seto found the time to become a sex god who is an expert at various sex acts, including most of the Kama Sutra and every SMDB act known on Earth. And he'll willingly share that knowledge with anyone hands-on
...and t-t-t-t-t-t that's all folks!

I love you, LJ! G'Nite! XD
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 04:10 pm (UTC)Also I watched the backstory. :( I stopped watching YGO at like, the end of Battle City. I missed that whole section where it doesn't actually happen in the manga?? But yeah, I plan to Veoh (holy crap I had to look that up) the whole series again this summer. Or I could just buy the illegal DVDs at the Asian mall.
1) Jounochi the closet furry who loves being called "Mutt" after every sentence < error there, fyi
Awww, I happen to like Silentshipping. It has plausibility, should Shizuka grow a backbone, Seto grow a heart, and they meet up somewhere.
WAIT WAIT. PEOPLE HAVE GOZABURO CHOOZE SETO'S WIFE?? WTF? I recognize most of these but but.. what? -cries-
8 should be some random character Kaiba's said a few words to (nothing at all) because fans like random crack pairings. :P (Isis, Mai, Bakura, Anzu!!!!!, Tristan, OC employee at Kaiba corp?)
And he lets Seto know this by: < (Ah this sentence confuses me x_x)
SEAKING ♥
Super Seme Seto action figures do not come with disposable underpants. :P Although the real version does. The underpants are painted on folks ;)
Also, I love these. Write more so I can critique/point out flaws/tell you what I loved in a kind and awesome way. :D
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 10:27 pm (UTC)Meh, I was trying to be snarky and failed it ^_^ You know how I loves me some Silentshipping, but the way it's written a lot of the time has me going WHUT T3H FUCK?
Thanks for pointing some things out for me, I'll go back to fix those.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 09:16 pm (UTC)Really, Gozaburo sexually abusing Seto might work. *has a drabble shoved somewhere on that subject* But it's like YnB/Bakura - it might happen, but *never* in the way it's normally written.
The section on Mokuba made me lol. Because he couldn't have been the sneaky little bastard that almost killed Yuugi and cheated at every chance he got. No, that was a different kid. Of course.
Hey, I like Yami no Yuugi/Seto...But it is one of the more popular pairings for him, I know. (Also the one that makes the most sense to me, but that's just me being a shipper again)(And, having a weakness for crossover ships, think that Seto/Snape would be amazing. Messy and rough and vaguely masochistic, but amazing.)
Oh, and you forgot the Weepy!Seto who always needs rescued from his past or whatever. And the Mpreg!Weepy!Seto. (I swear I've seen that. It involved Vampires.)
I can see Seto doing self-mutilation, but it would have to be deeper and more complex than what badficcers are capable of. But it is possible. (An accepted part of my mental fanon is that he has "Death-T" carved into one arm as a reminder.)
As for Seto being a sex god...well, he wouldn't have looked it up, to be sure, but besides that I can easily see him knowing that sort of thing by instinct. But there are reasons for that, imo. (Set was a horny bastard, after all. And, in the irony of ironies, Seto Kaiba is about as Scorpio as Scorpios get.) But that's a section of himself he may not admit, so it might take a bit to bring it out. (Or, conversely, he may prefer sex because he doesn't know any other way to show how much he cares expect with his body.) But anyway.
Amusing, really.
S
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 10:57 pm (UTC)Really, Gozaburo sexually abusing Seto might work. *has a drabble shoved somewhere on that subject* But it's like YnB/Bakura - it might happen, but *never* in the way it's normally written.
Oh, yeah. Most of the fics on that topic I've come across more or less boil down to Gozaburo adopting Seto just to rape him, and handing him the company was an added bonus. =/
Oh, and you forgot the Weepy!Seto who always needs rescued from his past or whatever. And the Mpreg!Weepy!Seto. (I swear I've seen that. It involved Vampires.)
:facepalm: I can't believe I overlooked THAT one. I haven't seen that one too often, but it was worth a mention.
But that's a section of himself he may not admit, so it might take a bit to bring it out.
I agree...which is why I don't see him sexing up the whole town, like one Kaiba/Jou Mpreg I saw where Kaiba was supposedly having sex with a different person every night. Kaiba strikes me as an introvert who'd rather have one person he give his all to.
Thanks for the concrit!